


red

by sunshinedoie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Amazing, Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Beautiful, Colors, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Music, Kissing, M/M, Only Hurts a Bit, Poetic, Way Too Vivid Descriptions of Color
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23617426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinedoie/pseuds/sunshinedoie
Summary: in which jaemin associates colors with feelings, and what he and jeno have is bright red(based on the song by taylor swift)
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 45





	red

Loving Lee Jeno was as easy as breathing, and yet it constantly left Jaemin reeling.

They drove down an empty road, hands clasped together, scenery passing by in a blur; it was exhilarating. The car slowed to a halt and Jaemin felt lips pressing against his, adrenaline coursing through his veins.

There was no rhyme or reason to Jeno, and that was perfectly fine with Jaemin. 

The kiss ended as quickly as it started, and before he knew it, he was home. The night had passed by much like the trees as they drove; so fast that you could hardly notice the details.

Jaemin and Jeno’s love was the color of the leaves blowing through the autumn air. Maybe he should’ve realized what that meant.

When the leaves fell, and their relationship came to an end, Jaemin was devastated, plunged into a world of dark blues and grays, desperately searching for a way out. Jeno had become such a staple in his life that when he was no longer there, he was hardly able to function.

And so Jaemin tried to forget, which was easier said than done. Every single time, without fail, his memory was filled with red. Filled with Jeno.

* * *

The next few weeks were incredibly monotonous. Jaemin would wake up, make coffee, go to work; he would come home at the end of the day to… no one. He missed the sight of Jeno on his couch, Jeno in his kitchen. He missed everything about him. 

He missed the way Jeno’s fingers would trail along his arm absentmindedly. He missed the way he would run his fingers through Jaemin’s hair. 

He missed the color red. 

Jeno was all he had ever wanted, everything he had ever dreamed of; he was Jaemin’s to love, to cherish. He was right there. 

But now, he had nothing. And that hurt more than he thought anything could. 

Jaemin had memorized every inch of him, mapped out the beautiful landscape that was Lee Jeno. He was a masterpiece, so complex and yet so easy to understand. 

But underneath the red, there was a deep burgundy that threatened to take over; a tumultuous color, the color of their anger. 

They fought so many times that Jaemin could hardly keep track, throwing meaningless words back and forth, words that they knew would hurt the other. Every time left Jaemin crying on the bench outside his apartment complex, driving to someone else’s home just to crash for the night. 

He promised never to let the burgundy take over again, promised to keep the red going strong. But it was too late. 

Sometimes Jaemin regretted dating Lee Jeno, wishing he had never fallen in love because the harder you fall, the more it hurts. 

But he’d never regret the feelings.

* * *

Months later, memories of Jeno had nearly faded away. Every once in a while, they would come back in flashes, echoes of what their relationship once was. 

Jaemin saw him in coffee shops, in grocery stores. He saw him on the sidewalk, saw him exiting taxis. Jeno was everywhere. And yet he wasn't truly there. 

He had to let go of him. He had to. 

Why was it so hard to let go?

All Jaemin could see was the red, burning bright. The red of their love. 

The blue came crashing back down like a tidal wave, suffocating him, drowning him. The dark blues and grays filled him up until he overflowed, and the tears fell down, down, down. He couldn't do this. He couldn't. 

Jaemin sat down on the bench outside his apartment building, feet up on the seat, head buried in his knees. And he just cried. 

Some time passed by. Maybe hours, maybe days, maybe only seconds. But the tears fell down relentlessly. 

The deep, swirling blues didn't care for time. 

And then a hand laid on his back, rubbing gentle circles into the fabric of his hoodie. It felt… familiar, almost. But he didn't want to get his hopes up. 

Jaemin glanced up at the person next to him. It couldn't be…

Lee Jeno was sitting right there, on the bench. Jaemin blinked a few tears away. Surely it wasn't him. 

The boy pulled him in for a hug, whispering apologies in his ear, wiping the tears away with his sleeve. 

“Let’s get you inside, yeah? You need water.”

Jaemin begrudgingly stood up and followed him to the elevator. A hand wrapped around his, smile on Jeno’s face. Oh, how he missed that smile. 

He’d gone too long without speaking his mind. 

“I missed you. So much.”

Jeno’s smile faltered. “I know.”

The elevator reached his floor, and Jeno unlocked the door to his apartment. He grabbed a cup and filled it with water for Jaemin. 

“Drink this, and go take a shower. It'll help.”

And so that's what he did. When he stepped out of the bathroom, Jeno was cooking something in the kitchen.

Jaemin walked up to him, uncertain of where they stood with each other. He wondered if Jeno still had feelings for him. They were silent for several minutes, Jeno flipping pancakes. 

He spoke without looking at Jaemin. 

“I do.”

Had he said that out loud?

“You…”

“I do still have feelings for you. After all this time, I still can't get you out of my mind.”

Jaemin saw the corner of his mouth twitch. A small smile. 

Jeno continued. “I know we feel the same, but I’m not quite ready for us to be… us. I hurt you, and I never want to do that again. But…”

Jaemin nodded, understanding. 

“Jeno… I’ve missed this. Missed you, missed us. God, I'm still so deeply in love with you. It's stupid, but I really think we’re meant for each other. I'll wait for you, however long it takes.” 

He walked up behind Jeno, wrapping his arms around him. Jeno paused. 

“Can I kiss you?”

He turned the stove off, twisting to face Jaemin. 

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Jaemin leaned forward, pressing his lips against Jeno’s, and suddenly all he could see was that red, burning bright as ever. 

They would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! if you would like to see more, follow me on twitter @sunshinedoie!!


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